Here We Go Again.

I woke up this morning with some optimism, so I'm starting over.  I'm trying real hard to be "real," and keep up the blogging regardless of whether I'm having a good day or not. 

So for breakfast, here goes:

Yogurt/Oatmeal/Raisins/Almond mix.  I added 1tsp flax seed.

I think I'm gonna have some hot tea with my breakfast.

Lunch: Hamburger Patty, Feta Cheese, iced tea

Dinner: 4 chicken tenders, iced tea.

My thots:

I'm tired of feeling like crap.  I really am.  So when does the "sick and tired' turn into something productive and progressive?  Last night I was so miserable again.  I was bloated and sore.  I don't understand why I'm sore.  I didn't do any major exercise and I didn't exert myself.  I'm debating whether to tell the Doc about my left arm, how it starts hurting if I move the arm into certain positions.  I have a little trepidation about my upcoming Doctor appointment.  I'd say it was 50/50 on healthy eating, maybe a little more healthy than unhealthy.  However, since the trip to Illinois I let go of my commitment on eating better.  Now I'm struggling to find my way back on the healthy track.  

What does it take to find the "something" you need, deep down inside, that inspires you to do everything you need to do to better your quality of life?  I see and read a lot of those stories of people who found that "something" that inspired them to drastically change their lives.  It takes time, I know.  I would just like to find the inspiration I need to make a drastic and forever (positive) change in my life.  What is it going to take?  When will I find it?  Where will I find it?  How will I find it?

Blah!

Ok, so ya, I've been silent.  I'm also gonna be real....and real honest.
I'm back on that roller coaster, only right now I find myself on the "up" part, meaning my weight isn't going the right direction and I'm not eating right.  I'm really hoping that tomorrow I can wake up with renewed determination to get back on the right track.

So how do I feel? I feel like crap and I feel like "blah"!  Why do I continue to subject myself to this?  What is so alluring about my doggone addiction that I cannot avoid the bad choices and habits?

Starting The Day With Optimism.

I can, because I think I can!  How much more optimistic can you get?  I'm starting today with optimism and hope.  I have some goals in my mind that I cannot post here, dreams that belong to me- dreams that I want to make happen.  Frankly, I'm tired of letting those goals remain dreams and just out of reach.  I'm stepping out and reaching for those goals.

I started out today with a "kitchen, courtesy of my family".  What does that mean?  There were cups, bowls, cans, spoons, knives, scraps of paper and packaging, crumbs and all kinds of stuff....from one counter to another.  I went in there with the intention of trying this recipe for an Apple Pie tasting smoothie.  My next stop was the livingroom.  There were pillows and sofa blankets that needed straightened up.  Shoes, cans, and cups needed removed.  Finally....I was able to relax a little, and I made my smoothie.

My Breakfast today is an Apple Pie Smoothie:
Red Apple, Milk, Vanilla Yogurt, Almonds, Flax Seed, Cinnamon.

My Lunch: TBD

My Dinner: TBD

I want to share my pup with you today...she's a sweetie.  She's perched in the back door waiting for Sammy Squirrel to make another appearance.  He likes to taunt her, coming real close to the door she's sitting behind, knowing he's safe as long as Jetta's stuck..

I'll be back later with updates.

Not So Smart....

I know what is right, yet I continuously choose to do wrong!

Breakfast:
Yogurt
Oatmeal
Blueberries

Lunch:
Polish Sausage
Lima Beans

Dinner:
Taco Lasagna (w/ground turkey)
(corn tortillas inside, not flour)

Snack:
Dr. Pepper

I lack Discipline!

Usually Dr. Pepper doesn't tempt me, but since we have come home from our trip to Illinois, I am fighting the soda problem again.  I don't succumb to temptation every day, but just one day is too much.  I'm not even real fond of Dr. Pepper.

I also ate a double portion of the meat.  I know that was wrong.

In a perfect world (meaning "if it were up to me"), I would be able to wipe out of this house, ALL things that might be a temptation.  Anything that would be a bad choice would be gone.

ALL Soda, Chips, Candy, Snacks and red meat would be gone.

Usually soda and chips are not an issue.  I'm doing fine on abstaining from red meat....and candy is not ever a problem.  I do not have a sweet tooth that I need to worry about or fight with.

 I do not have the option of throwing this junk food out. 

What can I do instead?
~The things that do tempt me, like leftovers from dinner, I can throw away as soon as dinner is over...therefore leaving NO leftovers for me to go after.
~I can also go take a shower or go for a walk or just go outside.  I can remove myself from the vicinity of the temptation.

I wish I could have a little more control over my environment. 

Monday's Accountability

I've already posted in another post, my thoughts for today. 
This post will deal with my accountability.

Breakfast:
Activia Vanilla Yogurt
Oatmeal, 1/4 cup
Blueberries, 1/4 cup

Lunch:
Iceberg Lettuce w/carrots, cabbage. 1 cup
Russian Dressing, 2 Tbsp
Feta Cheese, 2 oz
Red onion, 1 slice, chopped

Dinner:
Tilapia
Zucchini
Spanish Rice (heavy on tomatoes)

Dessert:
White cake (small piece)
w/cool whip dressing & sliced strawberries

Setting Goals

I am at a point in my life where I guess you'd say I've come to a crossroad.

The "fork" in the road has many different paths, and not all are parallel.  

I'm so tired of carrying excess baggage around in my life. 

I want to just un-pack that baggage and let it go.

How do you reconcile your "debts" and "deposits"?  I'm not talking finances here.  I'm talking about the negatives and positives that are in your life.  These same negatives that weigh you down...and the positives that are struggling to become more pro-active in your life?  

Old habits can be a part of the excess baggage as well...when something has been a part of your life for over 30 years....how do you let it go?  How do you remove that kind of habit?  

When you live in an environment where there are things that contribute to your addiction, how do you get the others in your environment to understand why you cannot "live with it" in a healthy manner?  Yes, it may be their right to have certain rights and things...but at what cost to another person's well-being? 

What happens when you "out-grow" parts of your life that have always been a part of your life?

How do you move forward without leaving everything that plays a part in "un-healthy" behind?

I know what needs "cleaned up" in my life, but my addiction is still very strong.  You know what, my addiction should be my addictions.  

Someone close to me recently pointed out that the way I present myself, sometimes is colored negative.  I had not realized that I was playing the part of a victim, making myself a victim.  I am not a victim, I am a survivor and I overcome my obstacles.  Sometimes I choose to let the obstacles keep me restrained, but that is MY choice....I am not a victim in these times, I am just being stupid.  I am allowing my obstacles to hold me back.

I do not want to be a victim, nor do I want to present myself as a victim.  I do realize there are times where I feel I need to justify myself....but not because I am a victim, but because I have felt inadequate or unworthy.  I have to and need to learn how to change my perspective, change my presentation, and how to change me so that I can believe in myself again.  Only after I believe in myself again, can I fully present self-confidence rather than victim mentality.

The first step is realizing what a problem habit is so that I can first recognize it, and second, stop repeating it.  That's never easy.  This can be applied in my life in many different aspects.  My addiction, my relationships, my presentation (of myself)...are just a few of those aspects.

I am working on that.  I think the process of moving from the victim mentality I've held onto for so long, and coming into the realization that I am important, that I can believe in me, is what has brought me to the crossroad I find myself at.

I just do not know how to reconcile the changes that come with choosing the path I will travel, from this crossroad I find myself at.  As I said before, not all of the paths are parallel.

This crossroad decision will have a great impact on my addiction.  I will continue to choose to enable my addiction, or I will choose to say "enough is enough" and refuse to be an enabler.

I am so ready to move on with my life and want so badly to leave my addiction behind.

I want to try something that I have never done before, at least not with 100% commitment and determination.  I want to set three goals for myself.  These three goals I want to accomplish within the next year....01 September 2013 - 01 September 2014.  I'm really going to start today, but I like the idea of starting at the beginning of a time frame, like the beginning of the week, month, year.

These are the goals I want to accomplish within the next year:

01- I want to journal every day, my diet and my thoughts.  Here.

02- I want to consistently lose weight, and accomplish a healthier body.

      (I have a goal in mind, I don't need to publish here, what # I want to get to.)

03- I want to get my finances into a healthy state.

These goals ARE in order of importance, for my overall picture of where I want to go...which path I want to travel.  I believe that by making a journal of my daily struggles with diet and thoughts, I can aid my journey to becoming healthier.  When I stop throwing away money on food, clutter and careless spending, I will find myself in a healthier financial state.  They all work together to help me progress toward where I want to be in the future.  

I am going to believe in me and believe it now.  I am important.

Game on!

The Path Isn't Always Easy

The frustrating part about the weight-loss aspect of getting healthier, is that it is one heckuva lot easier to put on the pounds, versus taking them off.  For quite a few days I saw a steady decrease in weight on the scale.  The past two mornings....nada!  I can't let this discourage me or bring me down..  Allowing little set-backs or stalls become problematic excuses is what got me to where I am now.  I cannot let a little mole-hill turn into a mountain.  I have to keep traveling in the right direction and refuse to let hiccups throw me off course!

I'm down 18 pounds so far, and that is a big step in the right direction.  When I think about it, I've lost hundreds of pounds, but I've re-gained those same hundreds of pounds over and over again.  Why would I want to let a little stall in the road I'm traveling, take me totally off my intended path?

I gained a walking buddy this morning, which means I will likely get to talking and put in even more time.  This is good.  In the interest of getting more exercise, I am likely to double my time every day.  The time flies when you have company.  It makes you want to do more, just to hang-out a little longer.

Eventually I am going to start doing both the walking and HipHopAbs every day.  With our upcoming trip, I am going to miss a week or so of the combination, but I will be back.

Apple juice & blackberries & pomegranate....yummy.  This is my breakfast this morning.

So, for my "to-do" list, I've gotten in the bulk of my exercise, eaten a good breakfast, read- got in the inspirational time, and I'm well on to the fun parts of the list.  Need to make three phone calls.  Need to get ready for my trip. 

I know, THINK POSITIVE!  :)

I Am Down 14 Pounds in One Week!!!!

I just wanted to share with you that I have been juicing, drinking Shakeology, walking and doing HipHopAbs, and I am down 14 pounds, as of today.  I started with my 100% commitment a week ago, 7 days!  It really pays off to make the commitment and stay focused.  I have not eaten meat in a week now.  I am taking the Ultimate Reset supplements.

What else am I doing?  What have I learned?

I am refusing to let hurdles stand in my way.  When I cannot do HipHopAbs, I make sure I walk or get some other form of exercise.

I have found that I do not have to eat meat, cheese, bread, pasta or any white starches, to be happy.

I read something motivational or inspiring every day.  This helps me stay positive and focused.

Every day I grow stronger and healthier, and feeling good - sooooo trumps the miserable that I was before I began this journey to change.

Taking small walks, multiple times a day, relieves the overwhelming feeling of exercise.  Think about it, you can invest an hour or more- and every day fight the mental battle of "it's that time again," or you can split it up into smaller increments that are over before you know it. 

If you take your dog for a walk, you focus more on the dog than the exercise factor.

I love water and I'm losing my dependence on (unsweetened) iced tea.

It's not hard at all to pass on McDonald's, Subway, and every other easy temptation that's out there for you to buy at the check-out aisle.  It gets easier, each and every day.

-------------------------------

I am so thankful that I have the opportunity to do this Journey To Change, without a life-threatening prompt.  I have high-cholesterol and very high triglycerides.  I currently am taking medication for both, and also blood pressure medication.  I take medicine for diabetes (type 2).  I want to wean myself off of this stuff.

With the Obamacare factor, I do not want to have to be judged for my medical needs, when I have to obtain insurance after the military.  If they can determine your vehicular insurance rate based on your credit report and your driving history....I can only imagine what they will do with mandatory health insurance.

Most of all, I just want to be a healthy weight and have a healthy body.

Incredible!

Who knew that freshly squeezed Orange Juice would taste so good!  I sure didn't.  I made a "What A Day OJ" Juice from my juicer this morning.  Pretty good stuff!  I remembered the lemon in the "Mean Green Juice" this morning, wow that sure makes a difference!!!!

   

So here is a picture of my breakfast!  I'll have another 2 cups of the Mean Green Juice, minimum, later today.  I'm JUICING!  Now, while I wanna 100% juice, I am going to eat some greens until they're gone.  Waste not, want not....I know no one else will eat collard greens with me, figured that out last night.  None of the girls wanted them.  They did eat the green beans.  :)  So until the collard greens are gone, we're gonna eat greens for dinner.  And before you say "yuck" or question my ability to eat them for dinner on consecutive nights, I happen to like them...so it's no burden for me.

I started taking my dogs for a walk.  Jetta sure gets upset when I take the other two.  It's kinda cute, but it shows me she enjoys going.  She's learning "walk" and "bye-bye".  Definitely one of those pups who enjoys car rides, as well.  I went and bought the pet seat cover you see on TV.  I got it at the PX for $9 each.  Not bad.  Sure will beat vacuuming off dog hair off the back seat of the car, for an hour.

I'm down a pound this morning.  I sure fought the cravings last night.  I'm gonna fight again tonite, I'm sure, but I'm determined to succeed.

Will update more, later today.

Mean Green Juice

I watched the video for "Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead" again...this is the one with Joe Cross, who changed his life with juicing.  Well, I am re-inspired and I decided to do this.  This is compatible with my Shakeology (the Vegan Strawberry) and my HipHopAbs program.  I am really inspired to see what I can do with 10-30-60 days of doing this.

I made the "Mean Green Juice" today.  Here's a pic of my drink:

I'm not sure if I'm doing walking today, or HipHopAbs.  With him home, it's harder to get time to do the program.  I am NOT going to put myself out there to have him ridicule me for exercising.  I figure I'll take the dogs for a walk (usually a mile) and be happy that I got exercise.

P.S.  I'm down 2 pounds this morning.  :)

Still On Track

 

Blackberry Smoothie

Sunrise Smoothie

recipes can be found at:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/dreamteamnutrition/

Thankfully I am finding my willpower and commitment growing.

I'm getting daily exercise and eating healthy!

Tuesday (07/30/13) Day 15

I did "Fat Burning Cardio" and "Ab Sculpt" today.
Same thing on calendar schedule for Wednesday.

Day 12 of HipHopAbs

So I have been doing my dvd - Hip Hop Abs - every day, I just haven't been posting.  I can tell you this, I can feel it in the abdomen area.  I'm not seeing a lot of weight loss because I am not eating right at night.  I have a lot of things coming up in the next few months and I'm stressing.  When I am stressing, I tend to cave in to eating things I shouldn't.  So, lack of weight loss is on me, not a shortcoming from the dvd.

I think today I'm going to start working toward the upcoming move. I feel like there is this "overwhelming mountain" is looming in front of me, and that it has my name on it.  No one in this house seems real interested in helping work toward getting ready for our upcoming move.  I think they are falsely believing that there is still a lot of time before they have to worry about it.  To me, it's coming quickly and I don't wanna wait until the last minute and see my stress magnify by like 10,000.  I already have enough to worry about with school and all.

Mary suggested I combat the "overwhelming mountain"....15 minutes at a time. 

So, in the interest of making progress....I am gonna cut this post short and go "get busy".  I need to vacuum out my car and put at least 15 minutes into the back room.  The back room is our "storage" area, if you can call it that.  It looks more like a "catch all" to me.